Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

 Dear Reader

Good evening, once again, after a hiatus! A lot happens during a hiatus . . . but I am happy to be back and writing to share my thoughts. 

     I am back in the feminist counter, once again. I say 'once again' because in my previous engagement with my dear learners at the Post Graduate program at the National Degree College, the conversations moved from suppression-oppression of women to gender equality and gendered reality. But I realise, while this is possible theoretically, in reality, it is not really over, I mean, the feminist struggles. It has returned with a new look. That demands a quiet reflection and a stronger determination to transform. Just a thought and a disclaimer: the write-up does not claim to have any understanding of the cricketers' specific reasons for their acts of respect and love!🙏

    Recently, the Indian Women's Cricket Team won the World Cup and wow, how! The struggles of these incredible cricketers must also have been incredible. It is not easy to overcome the societal perceptions, challenges of a woman's body, the ridicule, the question mark on the face of everyone when one says 'I play cricket', etc. One of my feminist man-friends always said, 'Rekha, it is a challenge to pave a path in this world which is carved by men and their bodies. '  True that, but is it really so for men, I would now want to add. 

    It certainly is a challenge for women, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going! There are innumerable visible, invisible barriers that society, family and women have built around themselves. The toughest is to balance the competition with the ethic of care. The big gesture on the day of the big win--of including the senior women cricketers-- speaks volumes, as this gesture showed an immense sense of balance that became the highlight of the win. 

    Life is stranger than fiction! Lo and behold! This gesture became the instant highlight, not of women's ethics, but of men's cricket! Many people observed, said and wrote about how the men's team/captain rarely acknowledged their seniors! I am amazed! I am not saying that men are incapable of gratitude, no, never. What I am amazed at is the fact that that is how society expects men to be! Macho. Of course, they deserve, have earned every bit of fame and wins, but isn't that how victorious men are expected to be, across the world, irrespective of whether it is sports or academics or at home? Victory is of, by and for the leader/captain, meant to be celebrated as a symbol of manliness. (I agree, if what you, dear reader, are thinking, how messed up is that!?!)

    On the other hand, is it not expected of women to share at every point? 'Sharing is caring' is a lesson taught persistently to young girls, sadly, rarely to boys. It is not to belittle the Captain's gesture that I write this; on the other hand, it comes from a great source of integrity and personal strength to acknowledge the work of your predecessors in paving and carving a path. The men's cricket team has not had it easy, either. Remember the colonial legacy? (Lagaan, 83) Yet, suddenly, everyone is celebrating the Women's team's gesture of inclusivity. It is a little confusing to me. Is it to you, too? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below!

    And as a reality cross-check to this instance, let me share an instance from everyday life. In the apartment where I live, some time ago, an arrangement was made regarding trash disposal. Since the trash van comes about mid-day. As most of us are working or are not home, we stood near the gate wondering about a solution to the situation. A lady who comes to clean the street said she would help the residents by clearing the garbage from within the gate to the van. We were relieved with this arrangement and agreed to pay a monthly payment. A few months later, the lady told us that the trash van driver had fought with her as she is not supposed to collect the trash from homes, and that the trash had to be put in the van, and so, the payment is due to them and not to her! Not only did she stop helping us, but the men refused to help us and demanded that we pay them instead! Strange indeed is the way of the world !!          

    I am wondering what Virginia Woolf would say to this?! Or is 'Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?' true after all😟😏  

Dear Reader, you are most welcome to share your insights about gender and reality! If you are happy to read this blog, please share👇and hit the follow button 👉and share this blog with your friends and like-minded readers. Looking forward to your thoughts. Share your comments directly with me at rekhadatta02@gmail.com or message me @rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. 

 

'Fort'ified for Life!!

 Dear Reader 

             As we grow accustomed to life, we become more conscious of life, place, people and situations. Perhaps, one of the reasons why travel is advised in all cultures is that one learns to welcome life lessons with joy! Travelling, to me, is an endearing joy ride--adventurous, challenging and, what I call, life visions! 

        In this post, I share one of my very curious learnings. Hope you enjoy this!  

      My experience of visiting Palaces and Forts is mostly limited to South India. Bangalore today has diversified from being the capital city of Karnataka to a global centre for technology. And the life experiences here are multifaceted--from road rage to quick commuting in Namma Metro, cases of languisitic angst to speaking in different languages with all, known for its multicuisine to idiosyncratic variety of traditional Karnataka meals. A recent addition to this list of unique experiences of being in Bengaluru is the different types of corporate experiences that shape everyone's life. So, travelling is a necessary healing. 

          A remarkable thing about travelling in India is- visit any city across India and you are never away from two-rather, three places of wonder and admiration--Temples, palaces and forts! Each palace and fort is as uniquely different as any two temples. While palaces impress the visitors with their aesthetics, prosperity and cultural significance, forts are a worthy set of life experiences. What amazes the visitor is the acumen of the kings and queens! 

       However, what amazes me even today is the strategic placement of palaces/forts in India and how a traditional festival is turned into a political-cultural marker, be it the Dasara procession or the Chandni Chowk at Delhi!  Call it smart administration or people-centric, the 'ruler-administrators' were not far from their citizens, and the parade was a display of strength,  power and a bridge to ensure the loyalty of the citizens. I am certain that most, if not all, palaces evoke similar responses of emotions of awe, loyalty and patriotism. 

      Jump cut now to forts. In contrast to the beautifully crafted, artistic, luxurious palaces are the exquisitely located and strategically planned forts.    

     Recently, I visited this beautiful but somewhat dilapidated palace at Nalakkad, Coorg. "Palace" seems to be an oversized adjective for this place, but its artistic aspects justify it. The lone guide took us for a tour of this palace and pointed to some of its unique architectural features--like the nagamandalas of various designs, the now 'faded' murals on the walls, the 'marriage mantap' at the entrance, the kitchen and of course the 'kattala kone' the dark room, for prisoners and pointing to an escape route known only to the royal family. As I walked around, the imminence and the proximity to danger and threat that the celebrated, revered royalty lives dawned ever more closely. 

       The palace, built by Chikka Veerarajendra around 1972-1794, is believed to be the getaway palace for the safety of the royals-if and when attacked by enemies. As the guide took us around the palace, he showed us the vantage points to detect the enemies from afar that help the royals either to attack and win or escape to a place of safety.  This made me think of how different the realities of the royals are from the safety of their palaces.

    And the pattern or architecture of many forts- Golkonda, Srirangapatna, Chitradurga, Manjirabad, Golgumbaz, etc, seems very similar. There's a saying that in forts, walls have ears and eyes! True to this, the guide at Golkonda fort shared this fascinating information that the hall is built in such a way that even a whisper could be heard by the King who is seated at the balcony! Chitradurga fort situated situated in a hilly area, has a small hole as an escape route; the vantage points to spot the enemies from afar are hidden in maze-like beautiful patterns at Manjirabad fort. 

      The forts mirror the harsh realities of life like a palace does not! Some of these truths are eternal ones built into everyday life, which I find most insightful and appropriate to our everyday life too. Here are some that I could gather:

• Never take the wealth you have earned too seriously; to be alive is more important!
• Don't be judgmental, but keep your eyes and ears open to know what's happening around you. After all, one is never too far away from competition, envy, and professional jealousy 😏
• Enjoy life when you have it, but be prepared to take the stone when life throws it at you! I mean life gives you what it wants; it's in your hands to shape it so that you give your best each time, every time! 
•  As the saying goes, even your shadow leaves you when it is darkest! So, have your plans--a, b, c, d ready and NO ROOM FOR SELF-PITY. 
• It is more important to be wise than to be a celebrity. So save some money/ wealth. Keep it handy, safe and secure. 😄
• Whoever it is, whatever the relationship you share, ancient wisdom says it all--You are your bestest friend and listen to yourself.  
• Be 'People Smart'. Choose your people--friends and enemies-- wisely. 

   Dear Reader, you are most welcome to share your insights about travel. If you are happy to read this blog, please share👇and hit the follow button 👉and share this blog with your friends and like-minded readers. Looking forward to your thoughts. Share your comments directly with me at rekhadatta02@gmail.com or message me @rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. Thank you for your interest.

Festivals and Festivities

 Dear Reader

I wish each one of you a belated auspicious and happy Navaratri. I did not intend to write this post today; I wanted to share my experiences visiting forts and palaces! Vijayadashami—the tenth day is the day of victory of the good against evil. The famous Mysore Dasara Procession was telecast live on television. I watched the procession live after a long time. I usually avoid it only because it makes me so much more nostalgic for the years I spent in Mysore. While growing up, watching the Dasara procession was a family ritual followed meticulously every year until we just outgrew it. Years later, as a mother of two children, I would ensure that this family ritual continued as though this was an imperative part of the traditional upbringing! And for the most part, every year there is something unique to see and create an experience that binds me stronger to my roots. 

    I did wonder why is it that we reach out to traditions that we grew out of and left behind? This is my understanding of why reach back: as we grow up and move out of the city of our birth to create a place for ourselves in this world, make a mark to leave behind--like a pug mark, some of the things just wither and fall off--like our taste for food changes, we make new friends-very different from the kind of friends we had at school or college, our lifestyle changes etc. As we settle into family life, we uncover or rediscover some things that we had thought we had outgrown--like traditions and rituals. Yeah, exactly those we had laughed at, growled at or even discarded--suddenly acquire a new dimension. Not because we are wise now or have gone back to being foolish 😁😁  possibly, it's just how we realise it helps to keep us connected with ourselves--these traditions are like the lighthouse that keeps us safe and helps us reach the shore. Personally, this is how  Dasara makes me feel💓--alive, rooted to myself with all the many changes I have made to myself consciously, unconsciously, willingly and of course forcibly as well. Dear Reader, I am sure you have a festival, a celebration that nourishes you. If you feel like it, please share in the comments below.

 Some information about Dasara as celebrated in Mysore and by Mysoreans:    

  Across India, the ten days of Sharad ritu (Ritu is the Sanskrit word for 'season'; 'Sharad' is autumn) celebrate the Pure Feminine Energy as the Creator of the Universe in all its aspects. Goddess Lalitha is the protector, destroyer and preserver of life in her varied forms. Women and men keep fast and observe austerities to welcome auspiciousness into every day. 

 However, in Mysore, the erstwhile capital city of the Wodeyars, Dasara popular as 'Gombe Habba' or The Festival of Dolls is also the State Festival. The Goddess Chamundeshwari is worshipped for destroying the demon 'Mahishasura' on the tenth day. This procession was initiated in Mysore by Wodeyars inspired by the Vijayanagara Empire which similarly held annual celebrations. Thus the Dasara procession was an opportunity for artisans to sell their artifacts and artists-musicians and dancers were invited, recognised and honoured by the King. So, the celebration had socio-cultural significance. It was also marked by a display of the strength of their army and appreciation of the contribution of soldiers in keeping the boundaries safe.      

  At home, it is celebrated as Bombe Habba. Most families inherit a pair of 'pattadabombe' or dolls decorated as the King and Queen made from wood, decorated beautifully with silk cloth. And each generation adds dolls made of clay or wood to this legacy. For most families, the festivities begin on the first day-Padya by arranging all the dolls. If the treasure chest of dolls is huge, as sometimes it is, takes at least a few hours to arrange them thematically. The dolls range from Rama, Krishna, and Sages to simple dolls like women carrying pots on their heads, birds and animals. If the children are adventurous and like to see their toys on the shelf, their aeroplanes, soft toys, cars, spiderman and Batman may also find a place in this festival arrangement of dolls.  

This festival fosters a strong sense of community in growing up children. Children during the ten days are specially invited home and minuscule sweets and savoury dishes are made for them. All this has changed for the children in the present fast-paced techno-savvy city life, this is a sweet memory that enabled the continuance of a strong sense of community for years to come. 

And when I look around, though all this is missing to a large extent, I sense in many ways we continue to be a community-based people and not yet a civil society. That's one reason why we don't feel the need to call and go visit our relatives or friends. There still lingers, very lightly, a sense of the community life that was fostered in us a generation ago. I hope and wish, though the paraphernalia of our social and cultural life has changed so much, even if magically, I hope the beacon of light from the lighthouse of tradition keeps beaming!!         

 Dear Reader, if you are happy to read this blog, please share👇and hit the follow button 👉and if you want to, share this blog with your friends and like-minded readers. Looking forward to your thoughts. Share your comments directly with me at rekhadatta02@gmail.com or message me @rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. Thank you for your interest. 

The Mahabharata or the palace of illusions

 Dear Reader

Some questions bother us over and over again, have you noticed? To a point, where we begin to doubt if we have become senile or are so stupid we have not found an answer!! At such times, we seek the suggestions of our family, friends and well-wishers--basically, people who love us unconditionally. Most of the time, when we are stuck with a situation, it is because of our own stock responses, pressing the same dead bell buttons and for this, what we need is a knock on the head 😀and a different perspective to deal with the situation 😎. And, you will agree, it helps! 

  And this is exactly the experience of reading literature. If it is a story retold by another character from the story, the perspectives are refreshingly fresh and newly enlightening. So, be it a fairy tale turned into a cinema--Cinderella, Frozen or Into the Woods, adaptations of Macbeth as The Throne of Blood by Akira Kurosawa, Maqbool by Vishal Bharadwaj, or Peter Brooks' Mahabharata or the Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, what one gets is a new perspective to old or similar situations. 

      However, this post is a book review of the novel The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. Published in 2008, the story of Mahabharata is narrated by Draupadi. The novelist has retained the story and the key incidents; then you, dear reader, may wonder what is new and why, if you haven't already read this, should you read it?  We all know how a woman's point of view makes a world of difference!! You may not agree with the perspective; like so many other things we don't agree with but which exists, this is also a perspective that exists. Although I am putting this in a very matter-of-fact manner, believe me, it is not so. There are some interesting new people whom you meet, some new facet to a character that is not part of the traditional telling of the epic and of course, all characters are rendered human dimensions. 

      I would like to share some interesting dimensions the novel has introduced: 

   The changed dynamics of the brother-sister duo Dhrishatdyumna and Draupadi is admirable. It is very modern but very acceptable and endearing. Panchaali always calls him Dhri. They come out of the fire holding hands and stand by and for each other. That sibling relationship beautifully resonates with readers.    

   Dhai Ma is another interesting character in the novel. She is earthy, realistic and very human. Like for example, she says "There was such absolute silence that even if a fly farted, it could be heard"😂or her absolutely no-nonsense with a princess like Draupadi brings the epic to everyday life realities and not an unrealistic, imaginative epic worthy of its philosophy. 

    There's an interesting situation she draws when immediately after the Swayamvara, Panchali follows Arujna to his humble home as they are still in disguise. Arjuna, new to this relationship, walks at his usual pace and Panchali, the princess, walking barefoot, struggling to catch up with him, tired, sits down to rest. Arjuna just keeps walking without realising this. And when he does, he realises his folly, washers her feet, gets water for her to drink and then suits her pace when they begin to walk again to reach their home.  

    Of course, there is this unmissable side that Chitra Banerjee draws--yes, the MIL-DIL power struggles between Draupadi and Kunti. The clarity of their power dynamics is interesting; of course, this is not the reason to pick up this book. It certainly provides an insight into how Panchali acquires her queenliness. 

    Krishna is as elusive a character as He is in every story. He is enigmatic, humane, loving and compassionate like no one else is or can be. 

    The novel is bold to the extent that it acknowledges, not in great detail but in tracing it to the bitter end of the death of Panchali, the love she experiences for Karna. One wonders, I did too, how is it that Draupadi, married to five unique men, loves Karna!! Perhaps, only perhaps, Karna understands unconditional love like only Krishna does and Panchali responds to that because Pandavas, understandably, are so knit together by Kunti, that even if she wants, they can't be separated and are conditioned by their commitment to survivance.   

    And, my personal favourite is the way the novelist has presented Kunti, Panchali and Gandhari after the Pandavas take over as kings. The women, along with the young Uttara, form a committee to help war widows. When they come to know of the women who need help, they decide to convert their royal jewellery into a public fund. We always talk about how empathy in situations of war is important and offer suggestions to overcome PTSD. The initiative by women is not a personal magnanimity; it is a step toward creating a healthy society, which is inclusive, of course, of personal healing as well.   

   Sociologists and literary critics have long observed that the two epics could be read as sociological documents of relationships, society and morals/ethical ideas. The Palace of Illusions in introducing many such situations offer what's missing in today's world.       

  But, the best takeaway from the novel, as with the epic, is the larger reality of the 'aloneness' of life and relationships. And, when Draupadi narrates, wondering if the war could have been avoided, if she was responsible, I wonder if it is so? Because, today, as it was then, have not women been considered bound to serve everyone and her happiness is bound to her husband, parents and children and her happiness or sorrow or anger cannot be for her self?! I wonder, why, even when we fulfil our responsibilities to the best of our abilities, is it that we become such villains when we ask for a little space for happiness? Perhaps, the answer is, if you don't value your happiness, no one will! Perhaps, Panchali understood this and so stood tall and strong facing such wrath from the world!  The novel brings the epic back to the reader on a new path, making us wonder over again about the same questions of life, relationships and the self?!!  

If you have read the novel, I would be very happy to read your comments or opinion.  

Dear Reader, if you are happy to read this blog, please share👇and hit the follow button 👉and if you want to, share this blog with your friends and like-minded readers. Looking forward to your thoughts. Share your comments directly with me at rekhadatta02@gmail.com or message me @rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. Thank you for your interest. 

The Case of missing women

 Dear Reader

On any given topic, there are any number of discussions about its pros and cons. But, when it is about marriage and women!! Well! you may remember as many ridiculous, hopeless, humourous, insightful, dark, humiliating jokes as you want. It occurs to me, even as I sit typing this right now, how interesting it is to talk about a commonly--I mean 'globally'-- accepted institution that is redundant but since we can't think of a better method, we continue to engage with it only to feel exasperated!! I am talking about 'marriage' of course!! 

    Just yesterday I watched the movie 'Lapata Ladies'.  The questions that tickled me while I watched in admiration were 'What would happen to the family if and when the much-questioned woman of the home vanishes and more importantly, what happens to the woman? And, this is 21st Century and are we still to wonder about the gender equations in a marriage?!' 

    There is a popular anecdote about this: One evening, the husband comes home only to be surprised by the open gate and muddy verandah. Wondering why this is so, he is shocked to see the door of his home open wide and the living room unkempt and dirty. he is now worried and calls out his wife to no avail. He peeps into the kitchen hoping that she must be creating a new dish for the family or else, how to explain the messy home? Not seeing her there, shouting her name, fearing the worst, runs to the rooms upstairs--the children's room is tousled, to say the least. Worried and hopeless, rushes to their room only to see the wife happily reading a book with a mug of coffee on the table next to her!! Angered, he asks 'Why did you not answer me? Why is the home in such disarray?" So, the wife calmly replies 'Every day you ask me what I do anyway at home. So, today I decided not to do anything and take care of myself!'  Well, at least this is what happens to women when they go missing from home!! Reality check about attitudes to home and home-makers. 

    It's not that the absence of men does not affect families. No! It's not that!! Children, especially, after a certain age, don't see their parents as father or mother. It's 'parents' for them- not a divisible or divided individual.  It's not about good old patriarchy or the case of a felonious man deceiving the gullible woman (remember Charles Chaplin's Monsieur Verdoux?). Most cinemas that centre women are more about the 'coming of age of the woman and her selfhood' from different perspectives be it Thappad, Ghar Ki Murgi or The Great Indian Kitchen. The literary lineage-- Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors, and Tagore's novel The Wreck explore different perspectives of human relationships in a marital relationship.

    'Lapata ladies' manages to balance the thought and the feeling--the head and the heart in their respective places--focusing on the right questions of education and financial independence of women rather than decrying against the old foolish patriarch shouting 'jaagte raho'!!   

   

Dear Reader, if you are happy to read this blog, please share👇and hit the follow button 👉and if you want to, share this blog with your friends and like-minded readers. Looking forward to your thoughts. You could share your comments directly with me at rekhadatta02@gmail.com or message me @rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. Thank you for your interest. 

 

Villainy

 Dear reader,

'Villainy' it is this weekend. And the 'red' font colour says it all. 

    So why this interest in the dark alley of villainy? Let it suffice to say that 'villainy' is everyday life reality and not limited to epics and myths🙆And when we talk of villainy in epics if you have noticed, the extraordinariness of the villains is directly proportional to the extraordinariness of the heroes. For example, it is said that the Asura king Ravana could only be vanquished by Lord Rama; and only Lord Krishna could checkmate Shakuni. So with these specific examples, it is possible to conclude that an extraordinary hero earns an extraordinary villain!! (of course, if one were to speak from the villain's point of view, vice versa is also true!!) So dear reader, if ever you face an extraordinary villain, believe that you are an extraordinary hero and then, you will map your victory heroically!! 

  So, all that I am trying to say is life has graciously awarded my share of the 'extraordinary' 😂 and from this experience arises this post on villainy and some ways of defeating it. So does this make an extraordinary hero? Only time can tell! 

  However, the aim, objective and sole purpose of 'villainy' is to establish a win. Thus, the means adopted could be straight or crooked. Since this post is about 'villainy', I shall exclude all representatives of villainy viz Ravana, Kaikeyi, Shakuni and their long list of villains. Instead, the focus is on sharing some significant features of villainy. 

 1. One of the basic needs of a human being (apart from roti, kapada aur makan i.e. food, clothing and shelter) is the love of family, friends and colleagues. The people who love us show their affection with their attention. So, in many instances, we don't have to spell out what we require. Their love is experienced when they stand by and watch you win or fight and be your support system. 

    But, here is the glitch: just as the rate of metabolism varies from person to person, so does the desire for attention. For some people, relationships are a means to quench their insatiable thirst for attention. It is not that they do not love; it is that love becomes a via media to lord over people. They are whom I call 'energy vampires'. And here is the villainy--they will make you believe no one loves you more than they do; they will convince you that they are inevitable to your very existence and the only way you could survive is by 'serving them'. If you can, which is a rarity, break away from them, you are burdened with scars, emotional baggage and a cartload of guilt to last a lifetime. 

   How does one escape the 'energy vampires'? What is the antidote? The antidote is YOU. The understanding that you are a free-thinking individual with every right to be who you are😁. This is the beginning of 'travelling light (pun intended!!)'. Your freedom is worth it--even at the cost of such a burden. And there is no victory as sweet as the Declaration of Independence.     

 2. A paradoxical trait of villainy is that it is like the proverbial cat that closes its eye while drinking milk and thinks that no body is watching! yes, that it is foolish and it is a fool. Villainy is established on the hypothesis that it is indefatigable; it presumes that others cannot THINK. The fact is, well-meaning people may patiently turn a blind eye to all the villainy but they are not blind. And, the solution? It is never too late to regain your power of thinking. Here is one thing I say of myself: 'I may be foolish, but definitely not a fool' 🙋

3. The official bank of villainy is covetousness😁It is no joke to get something out--be it wealth or information or even a password for that matter!! The villainous love a tight fist. But, their expectation of you (or even from you) is always at its zenith. The funny thing is they will convince you that you are the tight fisted one here and question your generosity. How does one beat that!? Simple: at times, it is better to lose the battle and win the battleground!! Following the wise words of 'all fair in love and war', in this battle of self love and existence, it is better lose that 'material gain' to retain your hold on the battleground-- get or retain your freedom.  

Of course, the discussion of villainy and villainous is endless; as endless as the means and method of villainy. There is only one certainty in this seemingly endless expanse of villainy--it is endless until you end it and it is never too late😃  

    

Dear Reader, if you are happy to read this blog, please share👇and hit the follow button 👉and if you want to, share this blog with your friends and like-minded readers. Looking forward to your thoughts. You could share your comments directly with me at rekhadatta02@gmail.com or message me @rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. Thank you for your patience. 

                      

   

       

 

      

Green Literature Festival

 Dear reader

Literature, as you know, has donned many roles--pleasure is its first and foremost principle. The earliest forms of our literature are the Vedas and the Creation Myths, which we recognise today as archival of the collective imaginative memory of our ancestors.So the journey from Oral to Written literature. The Indian multilingual and multicultural fabric makes the journey more than fascinating. It covers the rough and difficult-to-map social, political, cultural, psychological and personal terrains. And so, its role has changed from entertaining people to the archive, from the archival to the directorial, from the directorial to that of the conscience keeper; and of course, this list of what literature does is endless.  

    So, I was happily excited when I registered for the Green Literature Festival organised at the Century Club, Cubbon Park, Bengaluru. First, it would be my face-to-face session with the legendary Ullas Karanth. It must have been in the late '80s or early '90s when I first heard my older brother talk admiringly of Ullas Karanth's work. I understood the significance of the work and that it was an adventure. At that time, I was in a whirlwind romance with literature, psychology and the innumerable adventures life offered! So, when I knew Ullas Karanth would give the keynote address,  I just had to be there! 

    The fact that the GLF was at Century Club, Cubbon Park, added another facet of interest. It is my favourite part too.  It is a park I have visited at various stages of my life with people who loved me the most and some of them continue to pamper me with their attention. So it was no less than walking down the memory lane. When I reached the venue, I realised I was more nostalgic than I had ever thought I would be. Why? The name said it all His Highness Nalvadi Krishnaraja Wadiyar Hall designed by M Vishveshwariah, the then Diwan of Mysore Kingdom!! Some exuberance and luxurious place it is 😎 worth the view!! 

         Additionally, the brochure said there is a book exhibition and various workshops for children of different ages. The workshops for the children were to teach them the art of making toys and drawing, to tell a story with cartoons. That is when I realised times have changed !! I mean, these were the things children did on their own; it had no purpose except that it was fun, away from any monitoring (or guidance). Our imagination was our sole guide. What we ended with was a very crude toy/s. Fast forwarding to the workshop, it was fun and more focused. The children are far, far more mature and understand creativity well. I was more than happy to watch their involvement in creative activities. 

      Coming to the literary festival--like with everything Indian, what's life without a sumptuous feast😁 At the century club, it was a feast for the mind. Listening to a panel discussion on Mega Mammal Miopia: Looking past the Big Stars of Conversation was an eye-opener of a different sort. I am aware of anthropocentric criticism in literature. But rarely have I thought about the dominance of large mammals in literature 😕. And my mind was racing. I have to accept that there is a partiality to choosing big animals as the ‘hero’. For example, I could think of Moby Dick, Old Man and the Sea, the White Tiger, the Jungle Book, Animal Farm and Harry Potter for its fantasy world of magical beings and many more. (These are few that I am aware of) The Panel consisted of Mahesh Rangarajan (Environmental Historian and Author) and Sejal Mehta (Author). The discussion was moderated by Karik Shanker, writer and ecologist.  

    Of course, there are exceptions to this partiality, especially if one thinks of films. For example: Ratatouille, the Ice Age series (though of course, large mammals are the ones who save every creature--they are the heroes), and the recent Kannada film Charlie 777 are some films I think of. Dear reader, let me know your list of films or books that are an exception to the partiality for large mammals!! 

 And here is, straight from Ullas Karanth

Here is a sneak-peak into the place--and the pictures speak more than I could ever say!!

Matrimony-wise

 Dear Reader

The past few days have set me thinking seriously about relationships. Pride Month makes me wonder even more about the changing dynamics of relationships, especially as spouses. Acceptance calls for celebration and happiness and rejection plunges one down the dark ally of loneliness and other similar emotions. (Sometimes, rejection is the answer to many situations. And acceptance is the only practical solution!) Remember Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina whose opening sentence is one of the most poignant lines 'All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". On a more mundane level, the journey from being rejected to self-acceptance is arduous. Forget serious relationship issues or self-triggered identity crises; birthdays can be depressingly realistic 😀

       On a serious note, the chaos and the debilitating experiences of rejection, especially the marital relationship, are painful, to say the least. And we mostly hear one-sided crib that is usually an exercise of emphatic self-righteous indulgence  "I did everything to salvage this relationship, but the other person was ungratefully unresponsive to all my efforts!!" Seriously?! Do you spot who the 'inconsiderate' one is in this monologue?!! 

      

  ATTENTION PLEASE: The thing about a marital relationship is that there are two people involved! Two people have chosen to travel together. Firstly, remember the safety of your co-traveller means securing your safety--emotional, physical and financial. Taking care of each other, respect, and freedom are quintessential. Secondly, though marriage is a 'relationship' with the other person, the primary relationship is with oneself. Clarity of what's central to you- as an individual, to your value system, what's acceptable and what's not--is imperative. An inviolable idea of what you expect from the relationship is paramount. 

    And a thought for your discretion: that ancient arrow of  Cupid- 'love', is not THE only ingredient for a successful relationship. Sorry, our understanding of that emotion is so personalised, confused and confusing that it is better to leave it be where it is--in poetry, which provides a highly contextualised perspective!! 

The truth, actually a facet of relationships, is that the emotional participation of partners in everyday life nurtures a relationship. This is true of marital relationships. That's why it deserves (or commands) a worthy act every day. Sustaining a matrimonial alliance is hard for both the wife and the husband. It is unsparing in its demand for attention and acknowledgement of marriage. 

   Here are a few rainbow bubbles that need a needle. 

Disclaimer 1: love is in the air, so proceed with caution! Love is the oxygen on which the world runs. But  Relationships always work forever in progress! So, enjoy hard work.   

Disclaimer 2:  The alternative to Cupid's arrow is not Midas!! Being practical is different from being greedy, right?  But, yes, who can fathom the way of the world and what fuels a relationship?!

Disclaimer 3: Glory be to unconditional love, but respect 'sharing is caring' be it kitchen work, groceries and other daily household chores. Zero tolerance for sexism here!! A marital relationship means being a family. Families don't run on "Love only"; everyone needs to eat, work and survive together. This is a gentle reminder that to strike a middle path of life is yet another acrobatic skyline to walk!!   

Disclaimer 4: Agree and create significant practical decisions. Men and women, please keep a little money aside for yourself. It is not a sin to save something for yourself, even when you are family!! It gives you personal space and freedom and little something if you want to surprise your partner with a special gift. Rom-com is the favoured film genre for some reason, you bet 👫!!    

Disclaimer 4: Where 'I' go, 'Ego' follows and 'we' end!! It does not mean one compromises endlessly (irrespective of your role--wife or husband) It is the medicine for failure. There is a thin line between 'self-respect', 'pride' and 'ego'. Tread that line with caution. NO compromise on 'self-respect', be careful of 'pride' and 'ego' has no place if 'we' have to exist. And this is for both partners; like sacrificing one's desire or interest does not always work, 'submissiveness' also does not work. How to acrobat this skyline is with the imagination of all concerned and involved💚  

Disclaimer 5: Saying 'Sorry' solves many interpersonal problems. In India, we always feel and think action is more important than words. It is. So, we never say sorry. I agree mere words are of no use. But saying 'I am sorry' is the balm that relieves the pain. Accept and ensure a change of behaviour. This much is worth it if you value your relationship.   

Disclaimer 6: Most importantly, the traditional ethical codes of fidelity, truthfulness and integrity are charming and definitely in fashion. Marriages are made in heaven, but it is lived here on Earth. So the ground rules are of the Earth and not of the heavens. 

       

    These are some fundamental beginner's guidelines for a healthy relationship and the auspicious time is now💚💚 Little wonder OSHO said: "Rise, not fall, in Love". It demands maturity and adulthood to tend to the relationship. Enjoy cultivation 👫👪 ! 

  Dear Reader, if you are happy to read this blog, please share👇, and hit the follow button 👉 and if you want to, share this blog with your friends and like-minded readers. Looking forward to your thoughts. You could share your comments directly with me at rekhadatta02@gmail.com or message me @rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. Thanks for your patience. 

                      

                      

   

To Progress and being Progressive is . . .

 Dear Reader

For some time now, the question of what is progress and what is being progressive has engrossed me. The referential used to identify progress are--science and technology, evolution, economics etc. I understand that these are more significant issues--macro aspects of progress and/or being progressive. At a personal level, the interpersonal life on which our life revolves, what are the parameters of progress and being progressive? This is a question that has bothered me quite often. But, the one resounding affirmation of progress concerning human relationships is respect. 

So, here is one perspective that I am exploring and sharing--not very popular these days; however, this certainly is one of the roots that arose out of this need at least!1  

"GENDER EQUALITY TODAY FOR A SUSTAINABLE TOMORROW"--United Nations identifies as the motto for the contemporary world. Beginning the journey of equality with socio-political rights, the gendered journey today is taking yet another crucial 'turn' towards active interpersonal relationships. And this 'turn' has come as we have travelled rougher terrains of the public sphere in the past. Beginning with Suffragette, struggling with stereotypes, questioning discrimination--educational and professional opportunities, creating new vistas and identifying new arenas-- women created a real niche for themselves and future generations. For some women and men, this must have been an arduous journey. For some, it was excruciatingly disparaging (let us remember, without preconceived notions, Sylvia Plath, the poet) that living didn't seem worth it! But, women celebrated Life by living it, facing it, dealing with their troubles; at times, punching and at times, taking the punch in their stride. 

   It's not that there is no toxic femininity! Oh! Yes. . . for every toxic masculinity, there is one toxic femininity. It's not that feminism/ feminists blinked it out! Perhaps, it took us all some time to recognise the toxic trait in women. In some instances, it is a case of women practising patriarchy and its values habitually to survive (this observation is not offered as an excuse or an explanation; it is not to be tolerated). Having breathed the poisonous gas for a long time, it took a lot of time and effort to cleanse, be purged, and emerge healthy. Let's be happy and proud to say today that we can recognize certain traits as poisonous, identify the toxic and be unsparing in our criticism. But, in some instances, toxic femininity is sheer work of art created by Life herself 🙆!! And here, ZERO TOLERANCE. 

  And it is a joyous phase when we can respect an individual for their attributes in personal relationships. To establish such an 'idealistic' situation, It is as much about bringing up boys who are self-respecting and respect girls not as tokenism but as a fundamental requirement as it is about bringing up girls who will stand up for themselves and respect men. If we do not recognize and behave such as this, it defeats the very premise of feminism. Women, if they don't practice equality, can we claim to be better than toxic men?         

     The other day, while I was browsing the internet, Google showed interesting snippets of opinions expressed by young women and men about 'arranged' marriages and living with parents. While most young women talked about feeling discriminated against at home, some men talked about taking a stance for their wives, agreeing it's better to live apart and be a family than stay together and be no family to each other. These conversations may seem superficial and gimmicky, leaving us to wonder if it is even to be considered, forget giving these snippets a thought. For whatever reason these conversations are shared, they raise pertinent questions. Answers to these intriguing questions provide clarity. It may be mere tokenism, the politically correct thing to say today. But, so be it. Because, voices are emerging, slowly but steadily, that say equality begins at home. Equality is rooted in the most personal, intimate relationships. It springs, blooms, and spreads its cheer from here. We may not acknowledge the connectedness of personal space to the public sphere for any umpteen reasons. But, respect, equality, appreciation, and knowledge are qualities of a human being. The bare minimum qualification to be identified and addressed as a human being. There have been many conversations about modernity--democracy, Science and technology, evolution into the human form we possess today, Knowledge, philosophy, economics, religion, etc. But, for people across races, colours, and genders, the most basic qualifying marker is respect for each and all. Without this mutual respect, we may not stand a chance of continuing to be here, on this earth. 

   We will learn to respect and rise above self-centeredness to respect people for their life choices. And, like we all have reached here today--willy-nilly, somewhat bruised, winning at times, losing and falling but never giving up, never failing ourselves, getting up, hoping one day to reach yet another turn that is kinder, lovelier, more cheerful and humbly grateful for the arduous journey that many people have taken.

DISCLAIMER: if the question is, are not men desirous of, and practice, these qualities? Yes, they do. Many men are lovely and respectful. And here are kudos and cheers to them 😍😍   

Dear Reader, I am happy to share these thoughts very close to my heart. If you have something to say or to share,  please do share👇 and if you are pleased to read this blog, do hit the follow button 👉

Please share your comments directly with me to rekhadatta02 @ gmail.com or message me @ rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. Thanks for your patience. 

 

Readership

 Dear Reader, 

Indeed we all are readers--newspapers, magazines-economics, social, psychological, film, women's magazines, literature etc. Even from this brief reading list, we notice that our reading is guided by two instincts-first, our need for factual information of different kinds (which is also pleasurable) and our desire for entertainment--be it films, fiction or literary non-fiction. 

    Modern technology provides us with entertainment from across the globe. A few years ago, 'anime' was not such a popular genre of film: today, 'Suzume' is breaking box-office records in India; OTT has made the series popular once again; crime fiction, thrillers, and action/adventure have once again gained popularity. With personal narratives, Podcasts have made orality popular once again. And what is really heartening is that stories and personal histories inspire people. Instagram provides that crucial spot for creativity. Twitteratti and netizens rule the roost!!

  If all is so beautiful, is there a hole in this new galaxy? Unfortunately, yes. Fake news and paid reviews that praise a work of literature galore. Today's media-unlike yesteryear' which used the news as a facade- is using 'news' to manipulate, create opinions and create 'false' truths! In this scenario, it is imperative that readers, as contemporary people, be aware of the possible twists and turns of reviews and shows of democracy.  

   So, how do we, as independent and good readers, distinguish between hollow and opinionated literature against a genuine work of art? This is an important question because of the politics involved; comprehending if a literary representation is dependable and whether the time one has spent on it is 'worth my time' can never be doubted. There is no easy way of ascertaining this about a work of literature. A precious metal or a gem could be examined and found genuine by reviewing it with a touchstone or putting it under a lens; but, with literature, there is no single method of finding out if the representation in literature--be it of people and/or place, set in its socio-political and cultural context--is genuine or not. 

     Dear reader, as you might have experienced, some books have a strong plot structure that makes you read only to leave you frustrated that you have spent so much time on it🙅 So, should we stop reading such books halfway? Undoubtedly! I am not talking of books that we, as good readers, find impossible to continue to read. However, some works of literature leave you with a hallucinated vision, making it difficult or sometimes impossible, for us to recognise reality. 

     In such a situation, there are two questions: i. if one should continue to read or leave it aside and ii. If the book is engaging enough to groom your reading--'upskilling'.

1. Good readers have many methods of identifying a good book viz. spending some time to understand the title of the book, reading the content list in the book, reading the review by the publication house or reading the blurb

2. If you buy a book at a bookstore, read a few pages before deciding. If you are buying online, some of the platforms provide a preview. Do take time to flip through it.     

3. whenever we choose a new author or a book, we usually go by reviews or popularity. If you want to purchase a book based on good online/publication house reviews, read multiple reviews on different platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and Goodreads. Though this pointer is not 'upskilling', this is the first step that will take you towards becoming a good reader.  

5. While reading, take a minute to reflect on what is happening in the story! In other words, focused reading is of utmost importance. Do you see that a character grows in a possible/plausible direction; does the action in the plot (within the narrative structure) seem probable; does the author's intention override the creative actuality? And, if you think it does, it is a red flag that the good reader should pay attention to. 

6. Literature especially has multiple meanings. So, slow reading is the key to enjoying a work of literature. In fact, literature is not a speed reading competition!! Like Francis Bacon said five centuries ago, 'some essays are to be chewed and digested'.

7. Last but most important, as a good reader, share your review that arises from your understanding of the work and is not based on your opinions or prejudices. This is a gentle reminder of what a lack of conscientious review makes--wasting your valuable money and time. And this is at the heart of this blog post!!  

Dear Reader, please share👇your thoughts and opinions on this topic. If you are happy to read this blog, hit the follow button 👉 And, if you would like to, please share this blog with your friends and like-minded readers!! 

You could share your comments directly with me to rekhadatta02@gmail.com or message me @rekhadatta1 on Instagram. I shall send the links to you personally. Thanks for your patience.